Love at First Sight!

We reach her private room and wait. Where is the nurse? Here I am, sitting outside the glass doors, just steps away from her and I can't go in. They have her under special precautions. The night nurse hands me a gown and gloves. Nate finally rolls me in. I'm struggling to stand up. It hurts but I don't care. And there she is. My sweet, precious baby girl. I want to hold her more than anything but they say no. She's not stable on the machine. I think, don't they know what we've been through? Don't they know the experience I have, holding little Logan, with 4 times the IV's she's got, chest tubes coming out everywhere, a REAL ventilator hooked up? Stupid hospital rules. That feeling of inadequacy creeps in again. She's mine, yet she's there's. She's resting comfortably according to the monitor. But I just hate that another one of my babies is robbed of the chance to be cuddled by their mother. I remind myself to be thankful. One step at a time, you can do this.

They don't want to wake her. I'm exhausted just from my short trip up the elevator. So we decide to go back and get some rest.

The morning comes. I get out of bed and insist Nate helps me up to the 3rd floor. They say she did well through the night and they're going to allow her to try to eat later in the afternoon. I'm so excited by this news! The boys come to visit me and Nate decides to take them to the zoo. My Mom stays with me and my friend Amy comes over from Ohio to spend some time with me too. The nurse rings my room that Addison is ready to eat. I feel a little awkward. It's been 8 years since I nursed a baby. Do I remember how to do this? And with an audience no doubt! She's having trouble. Is it the latching she can't get? She doesn't seem hungry. But how can that be? Amy takes pictures...my first ones holding Addi! The nurse tries to help but Addison just doesn't seem interested. We try a bottle instead. But she doesn't want that either. She won't even try to latch to it. Amy notices that Addi's feet are purple. Am I holding her too tight? I unwrap her and her whole body is modeled. The nurse says she'll make a note of it and let the doctor know when he does rounds again. I'm disappointed. But on the other hand, how can I be? I'm finally holding my girl! We try again at the next feeding time, but this time with the help of a lactation consultant. But still no go.

Test of Faith

It's D-Day. August 2nd, 2011. Mom is here to watch the boys for us. My c-section is scheduled for 1:00pm and we are to arrive at Dupond Hospital at 11:00am. No food or drink for me since last night, but who could eat at a time like this? We're about to meet our baby girl! I still have a feeling of "I'll believe it when I see it". Check in is seamless and we settle in to wait. I'm nervous but try not to show it. Flashbacks are occurring in my mind of almost 6 years ago. Nate is pretending he's not nervous either, but I know better. He's being goofy-er (is that a word?) than usual and that gives it away. He's playing with the camera. I oblige.


They come in to get me at 12:45. Darn, just when I was thinking I still have 15 more minutes to hide out in here. My spinal doesn't hurt but only takes on my left side. Great. As if my anxiety isn't through the roof already. They promptly tilt the bed and wait. I don't handle the drop in blood pressure well. I'm telling myself to calm down and relax. My mind is doing anything BUT that. Dr. Lorenc comes in and is so sweet. He's rubbing my arm and telling me I'm fine. Why don't I believe him? I've been here before and I wasn't fine then either. What a baby I'm being. Get a grip Amber! I hear the anesthesiologist get permission before he gives me versed. What did he say? Versed? I've always joked about this stuff when Logan gets it before surgery. I think, "now's my chance to try it!" I'm in and out from this point on. Nate tells me I talked...and talked, and talked. I'll have to trust him on that as I don't remember much. They deliver Addison and she lets out that cry we all wait to hear. Only it's the cry I NEVER wanted to ever hear again. The familiar sound of half grunting, half cooing. No Lord, not again! She's having trouble breathing. They say they need to take her up to ICU. Is she a girl? Can't I just see her really fast? But there she goes.

The rest of the day is sort of a blur. They tell me my uterus didn't contract well. They had to give me more meds. They've ordered an echo for Addi. They ask for a complete history of heart problems in our family. I cry and cry. Is this for real? Are my emotions my own or is this the drugs wearing off? Maybe both. But I'm too out of it to figure it out. Nate tells my Mom to stay home with the boys until we know more. They won't even let Nate up there to be with her. He stays with me. But I can tell he's not comfortable here either.

The nurses here are wonderful. They make it my goal to get out of bed at 8:00pm to get up to see Addi. They've finished her assessment. She's on a c-pap machine to aid her with her breathing. Her heart looks fine. Praise God! She's having trouble with profusion. And she isn't cleared to eat yet. How I longed to hold my baby! I was robbed of that with Logan and I couldn't help but feel the same self pity again. But her heart looks good and I rest on that. 8pm rolls around and no go. The drugs are still flowing and my legs don't cooperate. We make the next goal for 12am and I'm determined! Success was mine at that time and off we went in the elevator to the 3rd floor PICU.

9 short months

My pregnancy was relatively uneventful. I only had "morning sickness" for 1 week. And I'm not even sure if that wasn't just the flu or something else. I was tired, but who wouldn't be with 2 active little guys running here and there and everywhere. I was concerned (to say the least) about this little ones' heart. In fact, if I was being honest, it consumed my mind more often than I hoped. Nate and I decided we'd like to wait until this gift was born to find out what we were having. I set my mind to it and did better than I thought I would with that decision. March rolled around and I approached the 19th week mark. We had an appointment scheduled with Dr. Cordes, Logan's cardiologist in Indianapolis. He was performing a fetal echo cardiogram. We never knew about Logan's heart condition until we met him face to face. We thought it best to be prepared this time around. God answered our prayers that day! Baby's heart was perfect!

Then came the 22nd week appt. Ultrasound day! We were both strong until the gal asked The Question. I looked at Nate and he said, "tell us". God far exceeded my dreams that day and we found out He blessed us with a baby GIRL!

Summer

Summer was spent....

perfecting our cannon balls...

exploring the MIDDLE of the pool with our trusty life vests...

enjoying a visit from Uncle Nick, Aunt Angie and cousin Cole...

preparing to be the BEST big brothers with a class at the hospital...

and hangin' out with Grandpa, here on a special trip just to hang out with us! Although it was possibly the hottest day of the summer, we still enjoyed the Fort Wayne Zoo together!

(Oh yea, and a few chores here and there as well!)

ESPN

Spring time smells like sports in our household now. Luke started the season off with a little flag football through the YMCA. He played for the 49ers (fitting!) and was a pro! He could run so fast that no one could catch him. He scored touchdowns left and right. He enjoyed playing quarterback but running-back was definitely his thing!

By the next week, both the boys started Little League. Luke and Logan both played for the Braves. Luke with coaches pitch and Logan with T-Ball. Nate was able to coach Logan's team this year as he did for Luke's T-Ball team in the past. Logan really enjoyed playing and made lots of new buddies! He's excellent at hitting and we're looking forward to watching him play coaches pitch next season. Luke did a great job too! His hitting was excellent and even surprised his coaches. His catching is right on as well! He started throwing a little side-arm this year for some reason and Nate's keeping an eye on that. He's pretty accurate throwing that way so it might just be his way of throwing. They draft in the big leagues next year and Coach Jason Fleming will be looking for him! We're all excited for next season!

Graduate in the House!

Logan graduated from Presby Preschool! We're so proud of him. He loved preschool and loved his teachers. Mrs. Conley is the best! Logan knows all of his letters and sounds, he can count to 110 and beyond, and knows his colors and shapes too. His favorite time of day was snack, of course! He especially liked having his buddies, Kaiden, Cole and Matt in his class too. Here comes kindergarten!

Recap April/May 2011 #1

The end of April we all went to Chicago on a last-minute weekend getaway. Nate needed to get out of town after an especailly stressful time at work and what better way to wind down than with a little baseball! We got tickets to a White Sox game (not our team of choice, but cheap!). We stayed at our family's favorite hotel chain (Embassy Suites) and went swimming in the pool and soaked in the hot tub. Well, not me of course...as I was carrying precious cargo at the time and didn't want to cook our soon-to-be newest addition.

Ahhhh, Mother's Day. I had to beg my kiddos to take a picture with me. They're not so keen on picture taking these days. But documentation/memory making is important to this Momma.

Can you feel the love? I do!!!!!

Here's to the term "Born Again"!

Not sure who's still out there...but if this is you, take note! I'm baaaack! :) Actually, I'll be switching gears a bit. I'd like to keep this blog going with the term "personal journal" in mind. It's so nice to read back over the things that I've posted in the past. Things I would have (and did!) already forget. So thank you Blogger, for making a place to store our memories. Because God knows mine's shot! And if you're still reading along...welcome!

Oh my...May?!

It seems I haven't updated since May! Well, here's a recap of what we've been up to...
The beginning of May, we went to visit Nick, Angie and baby Cole just before Nick diployed. We took the kids down to the "Mall" in DC and shared with them a little of our country's history. Lukas, being the ever-observant one of our family, immediately recognized President Lincoln and his 'big chair' as being the same guy on the $5 bill.

We talked a little about the Vietnam War. Not too much as we noticed how our words were effecting their thoughts, knowing Uncle Nick was leaving soon. My Dad was a marine and served during that war. He came with us on this trip to visit with Nick and he was able to see the 'wall' for the first time with us. This top picture is kind of neat to me. We were surrounded by crowds of people this day, yet when I got home to upload my pictures, I noticed this one that I took of this beautiful flower memorial someone had left, had Logan in the backround, completely alone...almost seeming to be bowing in prayer. It speaks to me somehow.

This was a really fun but fast weekend trip. It was neat to see how Cole has grown. Sadly, Aunt Angie is the one with all the pictures of the 'boys' together. (Which reminds me that I need to ask for a few of those.) One of the kids' favorite parts of the weekend was riding the Metro. Learning some history was nice but TRAINS that go underground...come on Mom! That was way more fun! The rest of May was packed with 2 seperate visits from family and the last days of this school year. So stay tuned...

"The Curious Savage"

Last week, Logan had the opportunity to participate in a production put on by Lakeland Christian Academy, a local high school here in town. The play took place in the 40's and was about a group of people living in a mental facility. Logan's "Mom" (pictured below) had lost her 5 year old tragically and afterwards, believed he was still alive. She carried around a doll who she believed was her son. At the very end of the play, all the characters are portrayed in the way they view themselves...with Logan sitting next to his Mom on the couch. He really liked it and thought he was pretty cool. Of course he got lots of attention from all the girls too. :) P.S. Doesn't Faith (below) look like she'd make a perfect princess at Disney World? Talk about a perfect smile!

This video is hard to see but you might be able to get the idea. All he had to do is come out and sit on the couch. He took his job very seriously though!

A New Season

A new season is upon us. Except this year, instead of doing this:

We'll be doing this:

and this:
Join with me in prayer...will you?

Happy Easter!

I hope you all had a great Easter! We enjoyed a wonderful Easter service at church and our weather was awesome so we were able to get out in the yard and do some much needed clean-up. It was a little odd, spending the holiday without family but we made the best of it. Later on that evening we went to some friend's house for dinner and an egg hunt for the kids. The boys really enjoyed it of course! Being away from family is no fun...but having such wonderful friends nearby definitely makes up for it!

Hi All!

As winter slowly comes to an end, here’s a recap on what our family’s been up to the past few months:

In January I finally bit the bullet and took Logan in to get his 1st official “Big Boy” haircut. Sniff sniff…no more curls. He also enjoyed his first “Father’s Night” at his preschool where they searched for buried treasure and enjoyed snack time which, of course is the favorite part of any preschool activity.

In February we took the kids up to Chicago for the weekend to play around. I got to visit Ikea which was the highlight for me! We took the boys to the Rainforest Café thinking they would love it! Well…Logan had nightmares for 2 nights after that visit. (Sigh.)

The best part about February was welcoming our new nephew into this world! Anthony “Cole” Piazzese was born Feb. 5 at 3:08 am weighing 6lbs 12 oz and was 21 inches long! And to top it off he was born during the record breaking snowstorm in Washington DC!

In February, Nate took Luke snowboarding for the first time. He did awesome and couldn’t wait to go again. So we decided to take the whole family along with some friends to a resort in Michigan for some snow-filled fun one weekend in March. (As if we hadn’t had enough of it already!) I skied for the first time in 12 years and Logan skied for the first time ever! It was amazing to watch! Nate just clipped him in (attached a harness of course!) and down the mountain he went! Luke became a pro this 2nd time around and by the end of the weekend was even riding the lift up with his buddies. (I was NOT excited about this accomplishment!) Sadly…no pictures of any of this. (I had to concentrate on not injuring myself!)

And to end out the month of March…Luke finally lost his 1st tooth! He’s been waiting on his bottom, wiggly tooth for soooo long to come out! And when it finally did…he swallowed it! He’s still really upset about it. :(

Now...bring on Spring time Indiana!! :)

Snow, snow and more SNOW!

We got a TON of snow today! And as luck would have it...4 months ago I made a hair appointment for this very morning and I had to go out in this craziness! It took me a half hour to go pick up Logan from my girl friend's house...a trip that would normally only take me 10 minutes. Luckily Nate was able to go pick up Luke from school...which worked out well seeing that I ended up in a ditch today! Thankfully it was only across the street from our driveway and Nate was able to call one of his co-workers to come pull my car out. I have a feeling that Mr. Getz and his perfect side lawn won't be thanking me come spring time!

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year everyone! I thought I'd try to give our blog a try again! We'll see how it goes this year. I've been reading back through previous posts and through journal entries I've made on Logan's carepage and I've realized what a gift these are to us!

Here was our attempt at a family picture this Christmas. And if you think I uploaded the wrong photo...think again. They ALL looked like this one, with Logan looking at his feet! I thought he would've hit this stage when he was 2. But nope...it's most definitely happening while he's 4!

We'd all like to wish everyone a healthy and happy 2010! We pray God's presence in each of your lives and many blessings to you all!

Love, The Maiers

Update on Logan

I've been bad at updating everyone on Logan's health. But...no news is good news! He's had a really good summer without any major colds, praise God! This next month however, we're gearing up to see his new cardiologist. (Hopefully this one's a keeper!) Here's a reminder of what happened at his last appt.

He's scheduled to see a dr from Riley Children's who is suppose to be one of the best in our area. He's ordered an echo which was done at a hospital near his pediatrician's office. (Pictured above.) Then a chest x-ray was ordered which I was able to have done here at our local hospital. (Saved me another hour drive to the other hospital.) And finally, he's requested an EKG that will be done at the time of the appt. So all bases have been covered and I feel like he'll be well informed about Logan's anatomy at this initial visit. (Something I wasn't so confident in with the first dr.)

Logan also had his 4 year check-up ( a tad early due to preschool requirements) and he did really well. He weighs 36 lbs and is 37.25 ins tall...which is 75% in weight and 5% in height! That's our Logan! :)

I'm a believer!!

In coupons that is! I've spent the past week learning how to "play the game" with coupons. And I was surprised to learn that it wasn't as confusing as I once thought. However, I will admit that all my free time this past week has been spent on the internet learning just how to really use coupons. I mean, there's using a coupon...and then there's USING a coupon! Today, I went to my local grocery store with 4 coupons in hand and 2 that I loaded on my shopping card. What I walked out with is pictured above...for only $12.70! Not bad for a first-timer I thought. Just the 4 boxes of cereal alone usually costs $12 in the grocery store. And I've never bought a box of hamburger helper in my life, but I figured it might make a warm lunch in the winter afternoons here...the boys will eat almost anything, right?! For only $0.39 each, who could pass that up?

We're still here!

Seriously, it's been since May that I last posted? Where has the time gone? As I sat here looking through our summer pictures, I realized that a lot has happened in our family since May. I'll try to briefly recap our summer so scroll down to see other pictures.

In June we took the boys to the Indianapolis Airshow. When we visited the Aviation Museum in Pensacola, FL, the boys became enamored with the Blue Angels. We figured this would be a fun thing to take them too. Although it was really HOT, we had a great time.

Our perfect seats for the show! Now we're just waiting... :)

The boys in the Presidential Helicopter.

We were also able to visit a home game of our local AAA Baseball team, the Fort Wayne TinCaps. In fact, here's a neat story about that... We drove an hour on a whim to take the boys to this game. When we got there (after paying for parking) we discovered the game had been sold out an hour before. The kids were broken hearted and began to cry. We were all set with our blankets and snacks, ready to enjoy the game from the grass stands. Then, a lady walked up to us and asked if we needed tickets. Before Nate could answer, this totally rude man stepped out of nowhere and said, "We do, we need tickets now!" The lady looked at our boys with their crocodile tears but since Nate backed away she reluctantly offered these tickets to the rude man. He took one look at them and realized they weren't all together and there was no way he would sit in the grass! He stomped off and we just stood there in surprise at this man's un-grateful heart. She again offered us the tickets and we gladly accepted. However, she would not allow us to pay her for them. Yep, she freely gave them to us and encouraged us to have a wonderful time. Once inside the park, we quickly found out that the grass seats were completely taken but one of the ticketed seats had a huge group of seats together where no one had showed for the game. We enjoyed our free seats right along the 3rd baseline just to the left of home plate. Our boys had a blast in the stands and I fondly refer to that woman as our "baseball angel".

This kid can't take a serious picture these days...geesh!