Sick :(

Poor little Logan is sick, sick, sick. Luke and I had a terrible virus about 2 weeks ago and we thought that Logan had escaped it. However...it caught up to him yesterday morning. It started with just a slight cough and then the wheezing started. I stayed up with him most of the night praying he could take his next breath. Then early this morning it became much worse. Nate actually jumped out of bed and woke Luke up and they got dressed. We were heading for the ER. But then a miracle happened...he asked me to start singing "Jesus Loves Me" (his favorite beditme song that we MUST sing each night) and he was able to calm himself down enough to get at least short breaths in. He finally agreed to take his "smoke medicine" as he calls it (aka Albuterol breathing treatment) and his respiratory and heart rate starting coming down.

I just hate that viruses go straight to his chest. I feel so bad when he's crying, gasping for air and telling me he's going to throw up. (Mucous...fun!) The doctor's office FINALLY called me back this morning (after a not-so-patient sounding mother left yet another message!) And would you know that the nurse said it wasn't neccessary to see him just yet since the virus just started! Unless, of course I felt that it was an emergency in which case I was to go to the ER. What? What is with these "professionals" out here!? Am I just used to being spoiled by our outstanding doctors we had in CA? Am I just one of "those" moms that have entitlement issues? I keep getting the feeling that my expectations are too high. But is that really so bad? Aren't I suppose to expect the best care when it comes to my children? Right now he's comfortable (wheezing and all) sitting on the couch watching Backyardigans. I dread tonight.

Spring is on the way!

Is spring really coming? Apparently my yard seems to think so! I've been held captive in my house the last week or so with a chest cold but I made myself go outside the other day when my temperature gage outside read 65 degrees! And this is what I found! There are all sorts of green things sprouting right out of the multch. It's so fun! I have no idea what any of it is...but it's still fun!

Prayer Request

I've been blessed to have "stumbled" upon this sweet family shortly after moving to Indiana. I've seen her warm comments on many of my "heart friends" blogs and to my surprise...we live only 3o minutes from eachother! In fact...I was able to help HER find a pediatrician for her daughter after my extensive search for one for Logan. Well, as I sit here and type this...their precious daughter Grace is undergoing heart surgery at Riley Children's Hospital. If you could take just a moment to say a prayer for Grace and her family, I know they would appreciate it. Even though it's been 2 years since we were in their position...the feelings NEVER go too far. You can follow Grace's progress here. Thanks everyone!

My Boys

At least ONE of us is acclimating to the environment! Here is Luke...mastering snowboarding already, at the young age of 5! He's sooo much like his Daddy! Then there's Logan...he's inside with me, where it's warm!! :)

Another "Beachy" Birthday!

Last weekend was super fun but it went by way to fast! We took a trip to Pensacola, FL to stay with my brother and sister-in-law to celebrate mine and Angie's birthdays together again. The weather didn't cooperate (as usual when we pull into town where there should be a warm, dry climate) but we made the most of it. We went to the Naval Aviation Museum on base which is where the Blue Angels are stationed. The kids got to sit in every kind of cockpit there is, it seemed and they had a great time. The next day we enjoyed better weather and had a picnic on the beach and headed home when it started to sprinkle again. But on the way home, the clouds all cleared out and the most beautiful blue sky and warm sun appeared so we spent the rest of the day at the park to play and ended the evening with a yummy dinner at an Irish pub steakhouse called McGuire’s. Although the weather wasn't ideal...it sure beat the blizzards we're having back here at home! I can not wait for spring!!! We're so glad we had the opportunity to visit with Nick and Angie while they were semi close. Just in time too, it appears, as he just got orders and is moving on again. :( The boys miss them so much but in just a few short months, they'll be back a little closer and we can't wait for the next visit!

2 Years Today!

Two years ago today, we were pacing the halls of Sutter Memorial Hospital in Sacramento, CA. We were surrounded by family and friends. And in our minds and hearts, we were in prayer. Our baby boy was in the operating room, under-going his third open heart surgery in just his first short 17 months of life. I remember waking up that morning with the song "I Am" by Mark Schultz in my head. (I think God likes to communicate with me that way from time to time). I prayed those words from that song all day. It hardly seems like 2 years has gone by. You would never know today, watching Logan run and bounce and jam on his drums and guitar, that he was born with a broken heart. It's easier to see, now looking back, the plans that God had for our lives. I remember it feeling so incredibly over whelming. But you know, not once did Nate and I look up and ask why? It just was what it was and we are so extremely blessed having been through that journey and continuing on it still today. I've learned so much about myself and what I'm capable of. I've learned a deeper love and appreciation for my husband. And most of all, I've learned just how much God cares for us and how awesome we are as His creation. Logan is so amazing. I really don't have words to describe what it has been like to have the honor of being his mother.

A little update on our current situation: The boys and I met with their new pediatrician on Friday. He was so nice and Luke and Logan really liked him. The staff was very friendly and it seems like a good "fit" for us. I also learned that Riley Children's cardiologists come up to Fort Wayne once a month for their cardiac clinic right there in the same office! They have a cardiac clinic coordinator that handles all the referrals (which we need prior to seeing those docs for every visit/procedure) and she works there in the same office as well. We've decided not to give Logan the medication that was suggested by Dr. Ghazali and have scheduled him with a Riley cardiologist in May. I'm not sure why no one mentioned this to me earlier but hey...all in God's perfect timing! What a BIG answer to prayer. God is so good!

The definition of perspective is "a mental view or outlook; the relationship of aspects of a subject to each other or to a whole". And if I've gained any perspective at all thus far, it is that God is saying, "Be still and know that I Am."

Fired!

Well, it looks as if we'll be looking for a new cardiologist...again! Here's an update on the situation I explained in my last post. I talked with Dr. Mainwaring (Logan's surgeon) and he was helpful but asked for more info including a copy of the echo report we just got. I left a message for Dr. Fallah (Logan's previous cardiologist in Sacto) and on Friday, I also called Dr. Ghazali back to recap what we learned at the appt to make sure we understood everything correctly. Dr. Ghazali was out sick until Monday. (Incidentally, had this been an emergency, not sure how I felt when the girl told me "he sometimes forgets to call his patients back when he's out so if I don't hear from him by Monday night, please call back again.") Ummm, okay...

Anyway, Dr. Ghazali did call me back on Monday and we recapped everything. Then I asked if he wouldn't mind sending a copy of his echo report to our previous cardiologist in Sacto? He said he would but wondered why? I told him my reservations about starting Logan back on the blood pressure medication and I was just curious why our previous dr didn't recommend the same plan of care. WELL...he said all the "PC" things but the tone in his voice said he was certainly bothered. Then he asked me to write down a number -which I did- then told me that was the number for Riley Children's Hospital cardiologists in Indianapolis and that it would be better if we continued Logan's care with them instead! What!?? Yep, that's right...he fired us! He said he didn't want us to constantly second guess his opinion on Logan's care and continually refer back to our previous dr for advise and that it would be best for everyone if we saw someone else. I couldn't believe it, but on the other hand, I'm more than happy to move on based on that reaction over a simple question! I explained to him that we just met him and he just met Logan and that we have an established relationship with our previous dr. And the fact that the plan of care was so completely opposite of what we were on prior to moving here that we just wanted to have as much knowledge of this situation as possible before making a decision on whether to put Logan back on medication that may or may not even help at this point. He "respectfully" accepted my concern but didn't want to address it. He took the *RETREAT!* plan of action and headed for the hills instead! Oh well. It's just as well this way. But now I have the task of starting over...again.

P.S. Dr. Fallah called back also and said that he didn't feel the medication was to Logan's advantage at this point. He reminded me of the side effects that Logan had while on this med before (as if I forgot!) and stated that it was his opinion that it wouldn't benefit him to be on it at this point. Yes, his aortic valve is leaking (which we knew is was since the day they put it in) but that his body was handling the leak well at this point and so why medicate until it's necessary? ...Thank you!