Relationships

Yesterday at MOPS we heard from a guest speaker on the subject of relationships. Why we need them, how they affect us, etc. She talked about the differences in intimate relationships such as with our spouse, our children or our family and sometimes with a close friend. And then she talked about casual relationships such as with our neighbors, friends, fellow church members, etc. It seemed like a timely topic for me. I’ve been struggling a bit with my new environment. I have wonderful friends here which I’m grateful for. But nothing seems to be clicking just yet.

And today marks the eve of Logan’s first cardiologist appointment…in a new town with a new doctor. She talked about how, in intimate relationships, we deeply feel our loved ones struggles and concerns. We also share deeply with their conquests and joys. Logan is my youngest child. From the moment he was born I have felt deeply all of his joys and all of his struggles. And yet there is nothing I can do to ‘fix’ his problems or ease his struggles. As another 6 month appt looms, the nervousness starts to creep in. Will this be another stellar report or will this be one of the ones where they tell us his heart is declining again? My brother is also going through some struggles right now that I can’t seem to pray hard enough for and I certainly can’t ‘fix’ his problems or ease his concerns either. This leads me to the most intimate of all relationships. The one I have with Jesus. I’m so grateful to have Him to turn to when my heart aches for my loves ones or fills over with joy in their conquests.

So today I’m talking to Him about my nervousness, my concern for my son’s health and the sick feeling in my stomach for my brother. I’m also talking with Him about the joy that my sons bring me, the way they make me laugh everyday. I’m thanking Him that my husband has a stable job and that we always seem to have just enough money to get by. I’m thanking Him for the relationship with my brother and sister-in-law, that they feel comfortable sharing their lives intimately with me. I’m hoping for a little grace today for my anxiety over all these things and I’m praying for some for my brother’s anxiousness as well.

Relationships are funny things. They can cause us so much joy and so much grief. But most importantly they cause us to feel. Just to have the opportunity to love people through whatever life’s challenges. This greater purpose is so worth it! To steal a quote from one of Logan’s former doctors: Do not let the fear of what if…rob you of the joy of what is”.